Divorce is never easy. Consider it only as a last option after all other efforts to save your marriage have been exhausted.
Stop and think, simply because your marriage didn’t work out nothing requires you to declare war on your ex as you grow to hate each other. It may be better to resist the natural temptations of divorce which is to let it become a kind of money and property grab.There are cases where spouses simply grow apart and discover it’s best to go separate ways. This realization doesn’t erase the great moments you spent together, and you shouldn't let it diminish the marital estate you have built together. If you both agree it’s time to move on, and conflict will accomplish little, here are some ideas that can save money and stress.
Agree with your spouse that neither of you are going to blame the other for the failure of the marriage. After you have started a divorce process, it matters little who is at fault. There's probably plenty of blame to go around, why contest who is more blameworthy, it is a waste of time. Spend your time more productively by looking ahead to plan on how you will move forward with your new life.
When you have children, it is extremely important to try to remain friendly with your ex after divorce as conflict between parents is linked to a number of harmful effects in children. Yes, emotions are raw and you feel like you're being attacked, but with kids around you must try to put at least a calm face on things. Choose your battles for a time and place when kids cannot hear or see. Ask yourself how your kids will react to the bitterness and anger. Taking the high road is almost certainly in their best interest.
Both parties need to be honest with each other about asset division and other financial issues. Debt, child support, spousal support and who-gets-what often cause the greatest points of contention in a divorce. Start with a level-headed discussion about who deserves to get what. When there are disagreements, calmly talk about why each of you feel that way and see if there is any room for negotiation.
The importance of this stage cannot be over emphasized, it is generally the largest impediment to an amicable divorce. If you can come to a fair agreement about the money, you are far more than half way to establishing a post-divorce situation with your ex that will make child custody and your dealing with various child custody issues a lot smoother.
Finding a way to agree on finances is one of the best ways to minimize the financial burden that comes with most divorces. One way to do that is by going through mediation, a non-adversarial alternative to litigation.
Mediation involves both parties sitting with a trained, neutral mediator to try to work out the disputed issues of the divorce. A cooperative mediation can reduce legal expenses that can quickly add up if you devote time to fighting in the courtroom.If an ex-spouse refuses to comply with the terms of a marital dissolution agreement and parenting plan, then you have the option of filing a legal proceeding called an "action for contempt of court."
If you are successful in the contempt action, your ex-spouse will be ordered to comply with the original order and may be required to pay your court costs and attorney fees. In cases involving failure to pay child support, there may be additional penalties such as suspension of the parent's driver's license or jail time.
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