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Divorcing couples in Tennessee will likely be required to attend mediation at some point in the divorce process. Divorce mediation, which is also called “alternative dispute resolution,” refers to the process by which a specially-trained, neutral third-party mediator meets with a divorcing couple to help them resolve their disputes without having to go through a court trial. The process is controlled by Tennessee Supreme Court Rule 31.
In mediation of a divorce, the following four issues will need to be resolved.
1) Development of a Parenting Plan, determining the time spent with children.
2) Distribution of Property, e.g., house, furniture, bank and retirement accounts.
3) Child Support.
4) Spousal Support.
In mediation the focus is on the future. A neutral, third party mediator will help you and your spouse come to an agreement on the above issues. At time agreements come easily, other times they are slow, requiring careful attention. It is the mediator's job to keep the lines of communication open, help in the brainstorming and practicality of ideas, and help the couple to make their own decisions. The mediator is there to help focus on the issues at hand and keep things on track. All negotiations are flexible and confidential.
When children are involved, it is especially important to reduce the conflict in divorces. You will be encouraged to choose the path which you believe will help you settle the conflict most amicably and efficiently as parents, that will help maintain respect in your future relationship as co-parents. The goal at the end of the mediation is that, post-divorce, you can work together effectively to nurture your children.
Here are some frequently asked questions:
A. A divorce mediator is neutral and doesn't "work" for either parent. Though a mediator can provide the parties with basic legal information, the mediator cannot give legal advice to either party. What the mediator can do, though, is assist you in formulating ideas that can eventually lead to agreements that will stand the test of time. Because you both are working with the same base of information, it is easier to negotiate a resolution that makes sense to both of you. Mediation is voluntary. It continues only for so long as all three of you - you, your spouse, and the mediator -- wish it to continue. Mediations can be conducted weekly, every two weeks, monthly or as slow or as fast as you wish. This is your mediation and you decide everything in the process. If you wish to take a break from mediation and return to rebuilding your marriage, you are free to do so. There is a difference between this process and a traditional divorce process. In the traditional divorce process, both spouses have already chosen an attorney. Their attorneys file complaints and counter-complaints, often alleging grounds for divorce, including inappropriate marital conduct or cruel and inhuman treatment. The filing alone of such a divorce complaint adds to the animosity between the parties. Before you choose an attorney, you may wish to consult a mediator. This may give you the opportunity to choose a more respectful and civilized process than one that uses two opposing attorneys.
If you believe that you and your spouse are get along relatively well and would like to keep the divorce as amiable as possible, it is important to give the right signals to your spouse. You might choose to meet with a mediator prior to choosing attorneys. If you choose mediation after consulting attorneys, it is important that you clarify with your attorney you value reaching a solution as constructively and peacefully as possible. This is your divorce. The question of when and whether to file a complaint then becomes only a matter of timing. With children, the minimum waiting period is 90 days after filing. Without children, the waiting period is a minimum of 60 days.
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